A Date?

10 Sep

It’s been six years since I’ve had a real date. I actually try not to think about that too much because it just scares me more. It’s been so long in fact that I don’t know how to recognize a date anymore. It’s amazing how all the confidence I’ve built back up over the last year flies out the window when a new man enters the picture.

I realized that I have this need to know a man’s intentions. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been so burnt that I’m skeptical towards any man simply being nice to me. Sad, huh? I was told for so long that men are only nice to me to “get in my pants.” I actually don’t believe that’s true, but this idea always seems to resurface in my interactions with men. Well, single men that is.

In reality, it doesn’t matter what their intentions are, assuming they aren’t totally creepy or bad. Despite my past experiences with the opposite sex, I still believe there are single men out there who are decent, good, and kind. Whether they want to be just friends or may be interested in more shouldn’t have such an effect on my opinion or our interactions.

Today I went and played tennis with a guy I’ve known for a while, but has recently been a bit more present in my life. He’s extremely nice, patient, and I know for a fact he’s just a really good guy. I can’t tell if he’s flirting or if he’s that way with everyone. Is he interested in being friends? Or interested in something more?

I’m having to remind myself that this is all part of the getting to know someone process. Quite frankly, I’ve totally forgotten what this is like with the opposite sex. The last man that was interested in me was so over the top about pursuing me that I ran in the opposite direction. There was no guessing what he was interested in and in some ways it was actually nice. No guessing. No games. No question. Ultimately, though, it was too much. Too over the top. I ran.

Maybe this way is really the best way. Slowly get to know someone. Slowly see if you’re compatable. Slowly enjoy a new person’s company. The only game is tennis. Lots of guessing. Lots of questions.

Date or no date, it was fun. For now that will do.

Love and (kinda) dating,


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