Everything Happens for a Reason

12 Sep

I’m one of those annoying people who truly believes everything happens for a reason. I’m selective about when to pull out this little gem though because sometimes it’s just not what we want to hear, even if we know it’s true. At the beginning of my separation I knew that everything happens for a reason. I believed it. But it didn’t make the pain go away. It didn’t make the depression easier to deal with. It didn’t make me happy to face the tough road ahead.

What it did do was give me a little glimmer of hope. I knew deep down that the path I was on was for a reason. I knew I would be okay with that in time. I knew I would one day look back and understand. Finally that time has come.

After a year I can see it. Those “ah-ha” moments.

My ex cheating on me was the catalyst I needed to end our struggling relationship. We were both miserable and fighting for something that wasn’t really worth saving in the first place. I remember saying to my mom at one point that “if he would just cheat on me or hit me” it would be easier to leave. Then there would be something that crossed the line. That would be it. Well be careful what you wish for kids. I wouldn’t say him cheating made it easier, but it did make it possible for me to take the steps to separate.

When I think about the woman I was married and the woman I am almost divorced it’s night and day. Somehow I became someone I didn’t recognize. I’m much happier now with who I am than I ever was when I was married (look for more about this in a future post). However, I didn’t recognize this while I was married. It took divorce to become the real me.

The biggest “ah-ha” moment lately is breaking my heart. I have a close friend who just found out her husband wants a divorce. This came out of the blue. No warning signs. No fights. No red flags. Just a phone call. “I want a divorce.” Boom. When I got her phone call not only did it break my heart to know she was going to have to go through the process I’ve been through over the last year, but it also made me realize there was a reason I went through my separation when I did. This news comes exactly a year after my initial separation. I truly believe I had to go through my year prior to hers so I could help her through it. Having a friend who’s been through divorce was invaluable to me and already I can tell I can pay that forward for her. I’m the person who most relates to her struggles. I’m the person that knows exactly what she’s feeling. I’m the person who’s been there and done that.

The there and that wasn’t fun, but I’m grateful it’s given me an opportunity to help my friend. Everything happens for a reason. And that sneaky bastard father time must actually know what he’s doing.

Love and faith,
Amy

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