Aftermath

30 Sep

Yesterday I signed the official papers to end my marriage. Then I went and had copious amounts of margaritas with some friends.

Were we celebrating? Commiserating? I’m not sure.

What I do know is that I have some great friends and an amazing support system. I had a moment during dinner where I was just so humbled to have such wonderful people in my life. Over the past 13 months, they’ve allowed me to just be me with no worries about how I appeared to them. It was okay to be a crazy person. They got it. They allowed me to be fine one minute and go through an entire box of Kleenex the next. They allowed me to express love for my husband and then rip him to shreds, all in one breath. They have truly been invaluable. Good girlfriends are a necessity for any woman, but the woman going through a divorce will truly find a new level of appreciation for these gals.

As I reflect on yesterday, my ex is signing his part of the papers today. I don’t believe he is happy or at peace with what is happening, but he’s doing it anyway. Perhaps, this is his final way of trying to show his love for me. It’s been an emotional day for the both of us. My heart aches for him. Despite it all, I don’t enjoy seeing him in pain. I know this is extremely painful for him. I pray that he will eventually be able to find peace and move on. The compassion I have towards him often surprises those around me. Why would I want to see him suffer? I once pledged my love to him til death do us part. I meant it. It may not be in the traditional sense, but I still mean it.

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.” -Dalai Lama

Love and compassion,
Amy

 

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