Forever, Kind of

2 Oct

I got to thinking more about my tattoos after writing my post yesterday. When I was going to get the first one I was telling my neighbor about it and he said, “yeah that will be good and you can always get it removed if you don’t like it.” Huh?!

Funny how in that moment this sentiment reminded me of marriage. Yes I’m comparing tattoos and marriage.

I didn’t go into marriage thinking if I didn’t like it I could get rid of it. I certainly didn’t get a tattoo thinking if I didn’t like I could get rid of it. But the truth is, we’ve created ways to get rid of these things that we don’t like or want in our lives any longer. Interestingly enough I hear tattoo removal is more painful than getting the tattoo in the first place. Funny how divorce is also more painful than the marriage in the first place. As it should be.

His comment made me wonder though – how many people go into these things because they know there is a way out? I’ve heard and read stories from people who claim they knew they weren’t marrying the right person, but they did it anyway. I don’t know any of these people personally, however, and it truly boggles my mind. None of my friends who have been through divorce felt this way. They all went into it truly believing that it was forever. And so did I. Same goes for the tattoos. I purposively got them in places that won’t embarrass me in 60 years… if I’m still around. My skin may get wrinkly and old but these tattoos should stay in tact for the most part.

Are some people really so spontaneous or crazy that they don’t think of these things ahead of time? Is this why we’ve had to create ways to get out of these forever situations that we put ourselves in? It’s my fault I was married. I made that decision. It’s my fault I’m divorced. I also made that decision. And it’s my fault I have ink on my skin that’s permanent. Let’s all take some responsibility here.

I’m torn on this topic. On the one hand, I really, truly needed a divorce. On the other hand, I don’t think we should all be so flippant about decisions in our lives that are meant to be forever. If you change your mind, fine. But there’s a reason these decisions are difficult to reverse. And they should be. Changing your mind shouldn’t be something we consider as we’re walking down an aisle or as we’re sitting down on a table with a needle nearby.

Forever love,
Amy

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