Archive | January, 2012

Moving to the Big Time

16 Jan

Visit the new site!

I’ve decided to move the blog to a new domain and self-hosted platform. While I barely know what that means at this point, I am slowly figuring it out so you can expect to see lots of changes coming up. Please bare with me while I do some behind the scenes work and I will resume my weekly writing schedule shortly. Thank you for your support as I move to the big time!

Love and blogging,

I weigh more than my Dad

13 Jan

Yep. Damn.

While I was at home for Christmas, I stepped on the scale for the first time in months. This was after days and days of eating, stuffing, and lounging around the house. The scale said 151. Score! I’m normally around the 150 mark (FYI: I’m 5’8) and can fluctuate fairly frequently, but always just within a couple of pounds. Maybe 5 at the most. However, I don’t have a scale or go anywhere that has a scale. I simply just don’t pay attention to how much I weigh. I know how I feel. I know how I look. And I know how my pants fit… that’s the tell-tale sign right there. It seems that every few months I end up somewhere that has a scale and out of curiosity I hop on, which was the case at my parents house. I was very happy with 151. That tells me that I can continue to live my life how I am, enjoy a few days of stuffing my face, and still maintain a healthy weight.

So no big surprises. Life moves on. Then my dad happened to be standing there and that’s when I learned that I weigh more than he does. On a consistent basis. I average around 150. He averages between 140-145. Hmmm. He was just as surprised as I was. He thought I weighed closer to 130. HA! 

And here’s where we take this moment to be reminded of several things about being healthy, physically and mentally:
1. Sometimes the number on the scale really is just a number.
2. There are other ways to judge your health than by that number.
3. Focusing on how you feel is more important than trying to reach some arbitrary number on a scale. This is perhaps the most important lesson to remember when thinking about our mental health in this situation.   
4. Looks can be deceiving. Apparently I look skinnier than what people think of when they think 150 pounds. I don’t mind telling people my weight because I find it amusing to shatter their ideas of what 150 pounds looks like. A woman can be 150 and still be healthy and treat her body right. Why do so many of us seem to think that we need to be 135 pounds? Or 125? Or how much we weighed in high school? (Hello, I was 110 pounds. If I did that now my parents would surely commit me to hospital for help) Those are just numbers. Who cares? No seriously, WHO CARES?!

Finding out I weigh more than my dad definitely made me pause. Then I laughed and we went back to watching football.

Here’s to feeling good without needing a scale to tell us how we’re feeling,

What Not to Say Wednesday: It Will Be Okay

11 Jan

I thought I’d start a new tradition here at Just Keep on Moving… What not to say Wednesday! This started with a post about all of the things not to say to a person going through a divorce. I realized the list was looooong. Thus, What not to say Wednesday was born. These posts won’t always just be about what not to say to someone going through a divorce. Over time and depending on  my inspiration we’ll explore other totally ridiculous things that people say. And we all know that there is an endless supply. Fun, right?


So up first… “It will be okay.”

Here’s the deal. Someone going through such emotional turmoil and general upheaval in their life, doesn’t need people telling her something as trite as “it will be okay.” Is that the best you can do? Really? “It will be okay” seems to be a quick reaction when we don’t know what else to say. This is most likely the case when it comes to finding out a friend or loved one is going through a divorce. We don’t know what to say. Our first extinct is to try and ensure this person that things will work out for the best. Unfortunately, these four little words fall flat. Way flat.

Somewhere under all of the emotions and the crap, this person knows that things will be okay in the end. This is how life is. “Time heals all wounds” and all that crap. They certainly do not need you trying to tell them this. They know they will go on living and breathing and in time life will bring other challenges. “It will be okay?” No shit. Try something a little more heartfelt next time Sherlock.

What to say instead: “I am so sorry you are having to go through this right now.” Empathize. Show this person that you care. Show them you understand enough to know that this is a really difficult situation for them. If you want to go further with any words of encouragement or the glass is half full approach, adding something along the lines of “In time, I know you will get through this,” is appropriate. See what I mean? So much more meaningful.

Words and changes,

The Human Advice Complex

9 Jan

Over my Christmas vacation I was talking with my parents about some of my goals and hopes for the future. The conversation turned to my career. Somewhere during this conversation, our communication broke down. I was trying to tell them my plans for the future and they were trying to give me some guidance. The conversation really broke down when my dad just kept repeatedly saying “you don’t listen to me.” His frustration was obvious.

Unfortunately this is where our conversation ended. I wasn’t willing to then try and listen to him, which caused more frustration from him. Here’s what I didn’t say and should have: “you don’t listen to me” was a favorite phrase of my ex.  He liked to utilize it often. He used it at the most inopportune times. Rather than offering a shoulder to cry on. Rather than expressing empathy. Rather than just being there for me with his support. The immediate response was always “you don’t listen to me.” Hearing these words from my dad in exactly the same tone made me snap. Well that was part of it.

The other part? Who in the hell asked you for your opinion in the first place?!

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5 Jan

Since I took quite a bit of time off, it seems only fair that I provide some updates from the time while I was away…

-Most notably, I got my Master’s degree! As I stated in the very beginning stages of my blog, this project has always been in my brain. It just took the push of my final project to make it a reality. And thank goodness I took that push! I’m feeling more creative than ever and look forward to really expanding it in the new year.

-A close second to finally completing my degree is that my divorce is now final. Actually these two events happened on the same day. There was a lot of relief that day! Naturally, I still have a lot to say about going through this process and I think it will be a big part of the blog moving forward. I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea and not everyone can relate. But it’s what I know and what I feel like could really help others.

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Goals, Well Kinda

2 Jan

In my post on New Year’s Day I confessed to a lack of enthusiasm regarding all of the craziness around the holiday. Part of it is that I don’t really get the whole resolution thing because I am pretty consistently striving towards goals. If people really want to be better then why do they wait until one day a year?

So as a follow-up, I want to make it clear that just because I’m not into the whole New Year’s hoopla, doesn’t mean I don’t have goals, dreams, or ambitions. I’ve thought about doing a vision board for awhile and I used the excitement of the  new year to finally get one made. Funny enough, there were so many things that inspired me and I want to focus on that I ended up with two boards. One is focused more on my physical, active self and has images of yoga, running, and vegan eats. It also includes notes such as “fear nothing, celebrate women, and feel fabulous.” Feeling great includes the mind and body connection of course! 🙂

The other board focuses more on my career ambitions and financial goals. This is a huge focus of mine lately and I think it will continue throughout the year. I don’t do the resolution thing, but these goals would be what most resembles a resolution. For one, I’d like to focus on taking my career in new directions and two (here’s the biggie), 2012 will be the year I sell my house. It’s going to happen people! This isn’t to say I’ll move from Wilmington, but the time is coming to move on from this house. It was the house that my ex-husband and I built together. It’s too big for one person. And the biggest issue, the mortgage is simply too much on my salary. Above all though, I’m ready to be free from the trapped feeling that I get from being in this house. It’s time to be free and move on!

So there’s a general idea of things that are important to me and my goals. You’ll notice that I didn’t state specific goals such as run a half-marathon in under 2 hours. This is a goal I’ve had before, but as a true Gemini, I have multiple personalities. I tend to operate with ideas of goals, but in most cases, if I don’t accomplish them, then I’m okay with that. Goals change. Things that were important to me once, aren’t as important anymore. Why beat myself up for not accomplishing strict goals I’ve set for myself? I’m not sure this tactic would work for most people, but I tend to enjoy life this way and still manage to get things accomplished. I think that’s the trick; I’m not wandering aimlessly through life (even though it may appear this way at times). You gotta find what works for you!

Here’s to our goals, dreams, and ambitions!

Let’s chat: What  are some of your goals? Do you make resolutions? If so, what are they for 2012?

January 1

1 Jan

Happy New Year Everyone!

Confession: I don’t really get what all the hoopla is about. Never have actually. I practically roll my eyes at all of the emphasis we place on this one night a year. One day every year.

I spent last night at home with Buddy. Just the two of us. We went to bed about 10:30. I DVR’d the New York celebrations and headed to bed blissfully unaware of the craziness that had possessed the rest of the world. I went to bed happy. I woke up happy.

I was pondering today why I don’t really care about the significance of starting a new year and what could possibly explain my total indifference towards the entire thing. In my morning yoga class, this is what came to me:

When you’re happy with yourself;
when you’re grateful for everyday;
when you’re consistently being the best version of yourself you can be;
when you’ve let go of the past, the shoulds, and the expectations that others have placed on you;
when you have absolute faith that your future is bright and your path is clear;
then you don’t need one day a year to celebrate these things.
You celebrate daily.

And this, my friends, is my wish for you. May everyday in 2012 be New Years Day! A celebration of you; your past, your present, and most certainly your future.

In celebration,