January 1

Happy New Year Everyone!

Confession: I don’t really get what all the hoopla is about. Never have actually. I practically roll my eyes at all of the emphasis we place on this one night a year. One day every year.

I spent last night at home with Buddy. Just the two of us. We went to bed about 10:30. I DVR’d the New York celebrations and headed to bed blissfully unaware of the craziness that had possessed the rest of the world. I went to bed happy. I woke up happy.

I was pondering today why I don’t really care about the significance of starting a new year and what could possibly explain my total indifference towards the entire thing. In my morning yoga class, this is what came to me:

When you’re happy with yourself;
when you’re grateful for everyday;
when you’re consistently being the best version of yourself you can be;
when you’ve let go of the past, the shoulds, and the expectations that others have placed on you;
when you have absolute faith that your future is bright and your path is clear;
then you don’t need one day a year to celebrate these things.
You celebrate daily.

And this, my friends, is my wish for you. May everyday in 2012 be New Years Day! A celebration of you; your past, your present, and most certainly your future.

In celebration,
Amy

Words for my Friend, Part 3

This series began as a result of trying to help a very good friend who found out her husband wants a divorce. To catch up, check out Part 1 and Part 2.

After my first email to my friend, I told her a second installment would be coming at some point. This is my latest email to her. Unedited, unchanged, honest.

Picking up where I left off; some additional thoughts…

Words for my Friend, Part 2

This post is part of a series in response to my very good friend whose husband just told her he wants a divorce. In part 1 I kept it simple. Sometimes simple is all that’s needed; sometimes we need more. This post was originally part of an email I sent to my friend. The only editing I did for the blog was to take his name out of it. Everything else remains just as I originally intended it and felt it.

Here are some thoughts from my experience (yours could be totally different)…

Prince Charming

I don’t believe in fairy tales, but the eternal optimist in me does believe my very own version of prince charming is out there somewhere.

[insert picture of mom & dad here]

Caption: My mom with her own version of prince charming

My prince charming will…

Everything Happens for a Reason

I’m one of those annoying people who truly believes everything happens for a reason. I’m selective about when to pull out this little gem though because sometimes it’s just not what we want to hear, even if we know it’s true. At the beginning of my separation I knew that everything happens for a reason. I believed it. But it didn’t make the pain go away. It didn’t make the depression easier to deal with. It didn’t make me happy to face the tough road ahead.

What it did do was give me a little glimmer of hope. I knew deep down that the path I was on was for a reason. I knew I would be okay with that in time. I knew I would one day look back and understand. Finally that time has come.

After a year I can see it. Those “ah-ha” moments.

My ex cheating on me was the catalyst I needed to end our struggling relationship. We were both miserable and fighting for something that wasn’t really worth saving in the first place. I remember saying to my mom at one point that “if he would just cheat on me or hit me” it would be easier to leave. Then there would be something that crossed the line. That would be it. Well be careful what you wish for kids. I wouldn’t say him cheating made it easier, but it did make it possible for me to take the steps to separate.

When I think about the woman I was married and the woman I am almost divorced it’s night and day. Somehow I became someone I didn’t recognize. I’m much happier now with who I am than I ever was when I was married (look for more about this in a future post). However, I didn’t recognize this while I was married. It took divorce to become the real me.

The biggest “ah-ha” moment lately is breaking my heart. I have a close friend who just found out her husband wants a divorce. This came out of the blue. No warning signs. No fights. No red flags. Just a phone call. “I want a divorce.” Boom. When I got her phone call not only did it break my heart to know she was going to have to go through the process I’ve been through over the last year, but it also made me realize there was a reason I went through my separation when I did. This news comes exactly a year after my initial separation. I truly believe I had to go through my year prior to hers so I could help her through it. Having a friend who’s been through divorce was invaluable to me and already I can tell I can pay that forward for her. I’m the person who most relates to her struggles. I’m the person that knows exactly what she’s feeling. I’m the person who’s been there and done that.

The there and that wasn’t fun, but I’m grateful it’s given me an opportunity to help my friend. Everything happens for a reason. And that sneaky bastard father time must actually know what he’s doing.

Love and faith,
Amy